The Relationships of Business

Have you ever felt like you were 'put out to pasture' when you left an organization or position? Felt like the business relationships you built just didn't really matter?

In my professional life, I've built lasting relationships with people that will likely remain part of my life for the long haul. However, I've also invested time and energy and emotion into work-related relationships that literally ended the moment I left the building.

For those of you making career transitions, I'm sure you can relate. It's difficult at times to separate your relationships at work from real-life friendships, and often we feel that they are (and arguably should be) one in the same. However, it can be a cold reality to realize that is not always the case.

When you work alongside others in a business environment, you tend to build trust and loyalty (or at least you hope you do). And I'm a firm believer that trust and loyalty are huge benefits to an organization and its overall effectiveness. The hard part can come when you realize that those same relationships may not actually extend beyond the work environment, once you've left that particular role or place.

The Title of this article is deliberate.   'Relationships’ in my mind come first, not the "The Business Side of Relationships" as we generally hear it.  While we can all acknowledge the importance of business relationships, and the critical nature they must play in terms of achieving objectives, and pleasing the Owners or Board Members, having what I consider a 'corporate; view of your network and business relationships is short-sighted. 

It's easy to be lulled into complacency when you are in a corporate setting, in that you always have 'something' to offer those in your network.

There is a comfort and ease with which you interact with your connections, as at the end of the day, some aspect of your relationship ties back to your role and place in your organization.

I'm sure some of you have experienced the crickets that seem to follow any sort of corporate departure or transition. Out of the many people you regularly engaged with in your former life, very few will likely stay in touch or reach out to you as you find your way in your new adventure.

Is this a bit of a blow to the ego? Of course, it is.

Is it tough not to feel frustrated or 'cut out' when you had relied on that network to support you after your departure? Yes, most definitely.

Does it mean all those relationships didn't mean anything, or were fake? No, it doesn't.

Your relationships built in a business environment are likely distinctly different from your friendships and relationships built in your personal life. Not always, but it's safe to say that most will be. And you likely won't see that till after you leave an organization.

I recently spoke to a friend who retired from a large state law-enforcement agency after 25 years of flawless service. 

I asked him what was the hardest part of leaving? 

He did not hesitate, and said it was loneliness and feeling like "everyone" just forgot about him.  A few calls from co-workers at the beginning of departure, but by the time 6 months to 1 years passes, not a word from anyone he had worked with all that time.  Of course, this was the same Agency that I departed from many years earlier after almost 10 years of service not 25 years.  For me it was about 2 months when silence fell.

I recently chose to step back from corporate management, and this time I was more mentally prepared for the impact to my 'relationships of business' than I was in other transitions. I knew that my network and friends from the work environment ran a full spectrum of attachments, connections and commitments. Some people I knew I would likely never hear from again. Some have surprised me, and really re-invested in our relationship since my departure. Others who seemed very close and important to me have not even returned a call. Those are the ones that are most difficult to understand.

So that brings me back to my title "The Relationships of Business".  I've been around enough to know that even those people who I don't hear from, may eventually ring me up and ask for my help with a project or a client. And when that happens, how will I respond? Will I hold a grudge that they didn't return my call?

No. I won't. I will find out what they need and I will do my best to support them. Because, what I have realized is that most people just don't realize the importance of maintaining relationships, particularly in reference to their careers. 

I have to admit, I’ve been on the other side of the equation. I've known people who've left my company, people I really liked and respected, people who I knew were in for a bit of a struggle to start over after their departure. Did I proactively reach out to support them? Not usually. Would I return a call from them afterwards? Maybe, but probably very late. I've had to be honest with myself, that when I've been in those comfortable positions in a corporation, I myself have been complacent about maintaining relationships of business.

Now, fortunately I've had many years to gain perspective on this whole relationship in business 'thing'. I've had to teach myself to be more proactive, to think about my network a bit differently, and to push myself to cultivate and maintain relationships even when they may not feel particularly 'relevant' at that moment in time.

Your network and relationships of business (and I mean vendors and affiliates as well) are incredibly valuable, even if it feels like you've been 'put out to pasture'. That won't always be the case, and the more authentic you can be in maintaining your connections, the higher the likelihood of deep and meaningful business relationships that will be mutually beneficial throughout your career.

Think about this as you walk around your office one day.  Look around. MOST of the very same people you work with every day will eventually move on to other successful jobs and companies.  A few of them, down the road, will potentially be VERY successful business owners themselves. 

None of us have a crystal ball that can tell us who will be of value to us personally or professionally. And while it's easy to be short-sighted in terms of the way you engage in your relationships of work, I am advocating building true relationships that last.   This does not mean you've got to bare your soul, and treat your network like your soulmates. (In fact, please don't).

However, I am saying that it pays to be genuine in your interactions, to make a bit of effort to maintain connections, and to be responsive when others reach out to you.

Maybe it's good karma, maybe it's the right thing to do, and just maybe it is also the groundwork for having a network of loyal and interested relationships of business that can help you at varying points in your career.